So, I mentioned in my last post that I aim to write 500 words a day. Having a daily word count goal is a solid piece of advice that’s often repeated by other writers. But as a new writer, I’m often stumped. What should I be writing?
Here’s my dilemma: I have a thousand ideas fluttering around in my brain, and I’m not sure which one to pin down. There’s that Saturday I went blackberry picking, and came home with 16 fire ant bites and 4 gallons of berries. There are the reflections I have around spending time with my aging grandma–going to her senior aqua aerobics class, how she dealt with an onset of mental illness in her 70s, but is now living the happiest, most social years of her life in a retirement community. There are the percolations of a novel, or maybe two novels, none of which are fully formed enough to pin down.
What I’ve been doing is writing what moves me in the moment–the essay about my grandmother for example. I write a shitty rough draft for a couple days, and then move onto something else. Often, after a long day at work, I just write an entry in my journal and call it a day. I feel lost without a concrete goal, like I’m wading out into the water, but as soon as I feel it lap around my knees I turn back towards shore.
How do I know what to work towards? How does anyone know when an idea is fully formed enough to begin translating into the written word? When do I abandon the shitty draft, and when do I come back to it to continue shaping, prodding, expanding? And then once it’s done…do I send it out to a publication? Or sit on it until the time is right?
And maybe I’ve just answered my own question. Keep going. Finish something. Jumping from draft to draft is an expression of my fear, I think. “Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability,” says Anne Lamott. I’m trying, it’s just that sometimes the ideas overwhelm me with the power of their potential, and I fear I won’t do them justice.